It’s the 1st day of November…exactly 1 year ago when I started on my weightloss journey. I didn’t know it was going to be a journey. See, it didn’t start off as ‘needing to lose weight’ or -‘wanting to be healthy’. By this time last year, I was at my lowest point in my life. I had given up on ever being able to give my 13-year-old daughter a little brother or sister. I have found a way to live with constant anxiety, always feeling exhausted even when I wasn’t working, feeling pulled in 120 different directions and befriending 15 of the 80 voices in my head that would just not stop talking. I stopped feeling guilty for finishing a pack of Thai sweet chilli crisps and a slab of whole nut chocolate every day- I have decided to accept that this was my fate, this was my life…now live it- but how? When I hardly had the energy to go grocery shopping. I knew it wasn’t me…giving up and just accepting has never been a character trait of mine- so who the hell was trying to convince me that I have to accept this life…and yes guys…. I have a confession to make. It wasn’t just my mealplan that got me to where I am today. See, that very thing that was convincing me that I was a failure as a mother and a wife for not being able to live life to its fullest, was the Liar, the devil himself! Yes, I am exposing him today. It wasn’t just the mealplan and the exercise…it was my God- He saved me- He took me in His arms and said, “We got this”. He was my strength at 5am when I needed to go to group classes. He was my pillar when I was standing alone in front of the mirror never believing my supportive husband when he told me I was beautiful. He was my cheerleader when my arms collapsed from underneath my body when I attempted to plank. And when the cravings hit I shouted “Not now Satan! Not now!” Because he knew if I took a bite of that chocolate I would feel guilty, become despondent, quit and go back to the vicious cycle. He wanted me to fail and be unhappy. I know that he is not a very happy chappy right now because I have fought the battle and I have conquered. I have defeated him, and I have called him out for the Liar that he is and I am sharing this with the world because we all deserve to be happy and live life to its fullest- that is God’s plan all along. It kinda feels like my birthday today – the day of birth of the Me I was always meant to be.
I am finally living my purpose and doing what God has called me to do and I am blessed to have you all in my life. It was never about me and that is what made me say no to the pies and apple tarts…IT WAS NEVER ABOUT ME. (I am literally tearing up now- but out of gratitude)