Hello everyone…yeah I know it’s been a while.
I have come to the realisation why Instagram must fall (for me). Since synchronizing my Facebook account with IG…I found myself losing my way.
Yes- I have fallen off the wagon. Creating and eating meals that are Insta-worthy, playing Russian Roulette with losing and gaining followers, becoming fixated on becoming the next fitfluencer…until yesterday…when I found myself calling myself ‘fat’ and realised that I have become paranoid about my ‘huge’ stomach. I found myself unhappy with my body and the negative self-talk began.
I was doing exactly what I tell others not to do. I felt ashamed because I wasn’t practicing what I preach. I became fixated on looking like the IG fitness models, comparing my body to theirs and crushing myself for not getting there despite my efforts and healthy lifestyle. I ignored the fact that they have never had kids, never had the same health issues, never been fat, that we all have different body types, genetics and they’re not months away from 40- I just wanted to look like them. That’s why I haven’t posted a pic or a video in a while because ‘I didn’t look like them’ – how could I motivate you to be fit and healthy with my huge stomach?
Like I said…until yesterday. Yesterday, I stopped this crazy obsession about things that were not REAL. People tend to post ‘their perfect lives’ on Instagram, the glam- life, the good life and forget about life itself.
As a Mindfulness practitioner, I recognised that I was no longer present and lost my WHY I had created this page. I created this page, not to show off my ‘perfect body’ – reality is I have rolls around my belly. I have loose skin that jiggles when I do jumping jacks, I suck in my tummy when I wear tight clothing, I have stretchmarks on my tummy that looks like an abstract painting and my boobs…well, they’re hanging in there…but you see, I am fit and I am healthy and I am no longer the person I used to be. I can do the things that matter to me like running and playing with my daughter and fulfil my dreams with my new found confidence. I wanted that for others. I wanted that for you. I still do. I created this page to encourage people to take better care of themselves by sharing healthy recipes of foods that I eat to stay healthy, share fun and easy ways to workout without gym memberships or even leaving the house because we are busy moms (and dads) with families and responsibilities.
I created this page to motivate people to take those first, difficult steps…one step at a time with random challenge dares.
I know how difficult it is to get started…and stick to it. It’s still not easy, but I have learned many lessons and developed many tools to make it a lifestyle forever. There are so many things about weightloss that trainers, dietitians, magazines and ‘fitness experts’ just don’t tell us about- they either don’t know or deliberately mislead us.
This unhealthy obsession with becoming something that I am not and never will be (or want to be) had me entangled in a web of emotional eating and surrendering into cravings. (I gained 3 kgs during this unhealthy period) I literally travelled back into time when I first started. God knew I needed that reminder. The last few weeks I have struggled to stay on the wagon- but I now know why… I wasn’t being true to myself. I have set an unrealistic goal for myself and it had nothing to do with my true purpose.
Well, no more! I will continue to post my crazy workout vids (judge or not- it keeps me sane) and pics of my foods (with actual portion sizes and no filters) and my loooong soppy posts…cos that’s just me.
I couldn’t care less about 100k followers posting filtered lips and abs and endorsing products that I’d never use. If only 5 people really read my post and I manage to inspire just one person- that is my purpose.
I am grateful for this platform and I am grateful for you guys helping me spread the word that nothing is impossible and that we can achieve whatever we set our minds on despite our circumstances or limitations.